All Hail the Kale!


As some of you already know, I turned 50 a couple days ago. Now I realize many (if not all) of you are thinking to yourselves, “Damn, he doesn’t look a day over 50…” But, I am. I am TWO days over 50!

I know… It boggles the mind. Whatever. I’m here to tell you that you too can look a day younger than you really are. I kid you not, it is easier than you might think and well within your reach. All you need to make this dream a reality is a powerful blender. I use a Vitamix but you can use whatever you’ve got – as long as it’s powerful.

OK, let’s get started!

First, grab 6-8 large leaves of organic lacinato kale and strip out the stalks. Then, empty a full bag of frozen organic strawberries into the blender along with your de-stalked kale leaves. Fill the blender 2/3 up with cold water. Now, blend the shit out of it – I do it for about 1 minute. OK, here’s the trick: once the blender is turned off and the liquid settles, take a large spoon and remove the foamy head, leaving only the fluid in the blender. This should buy you a couple inches of extra space that you can then fill up with more cold water. Fill it all the way to the top – go ahead, don’t be a chicken… OK, now just blend on low briefly, to mix the water into the existing concoction. Lastly, you pour this into a large water jug (or whatever works for you) and drink this puppy throughout the day.

I know what you’re thinking: kale smoothies taste like baby vomit. I’m telling you, this one doesn’t. If you follow the instructions above to the letter, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by just how drinkable it is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *